The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero Book Review

Now, the premise of the book is reflecting on oneself to uncover the hidden motives and condition of our heart in relation to our upbringing and past, to see how it is affecting our decision-making ability and effectiveness of leading a team. I finished this book, but I am also currently going through it with the staff team that I am on at my church.

Peter Scazzero shares his experiences—the ups and many of the downs—on his leadership career planting a church in Queens, New York, and pastoring it for over 20 years. This book is divided into two sections, each with four chapters, a total of nine chapters when you include the first introductory chapter.

Chapter one is titled The Emotionally Unhealthy Leader, which is what the entire book is about: being able to spot that and what it's like to serve under someone who is not really emotionally stable or present. But it’s more than just emotions; the book goes deeper than that.

Part One of the book deals with the inner life—the things that others may not see but that end up affecting your leadership. These are the chapter titles: Face Your Shadow (the hidden parts of yourself that follow you everywhere), Lead Out of Your Marriage or Singleness, and Slow Down for Loving Union, which means spending more time with God. Some of the chapter titles are a little unusual. For example, Chapter Five is Practice Sabbath Delight. Every time he said Sabbath Delight, I thought of Turkish Delight because I’m a C.S. Lewis fan. But it basically means making sure you take time to rest. He also talks about the danger of being a workaholic and how that can affect people’s lives and your leadership team.

Part Two deals with the outer life. If Part One is the inner life, Part Two is the outer life—because both are important for leadership. These deal more with actual leadership where the rubber meets the road. The titles here are: Planning and Decision Making, Culture and Team Building, Power and Wise Boundaries, and finally Endings and New Beginnings.

In the chapter on power, Scazzero discusses the different types of power leaders have—six different forms in total. These include power from your title, from influence, from your personality, and even from the projections that others place on you out of their own unmet needs, whether good or bad. He talks openly about how power can be abused if used too much, or even misused if not used enough.

Chapter Nine, Endings and New Beginnings, is actually my favorite chapter of the book. On page 49, Scazzero uses the example of a skyscraper to show the relationship between Part One and Part Two. The first four chapters (the inner life) are like the foundation that goes deep into the ground, while the second part (the outer life) is the visible skyscraper above ground. Both are essential. Without the foundation, the skyscraper cannot stand.

Chapter Nine focuses on forcing us to honestly look at the purpose of leadership and being in charge. The question he asks is: is the ultimate goal really just to keep the thing running? Is self-preservation really the goal? Or should there be a proper time to let things die so that new things can begin?

He explains how, in churches and other organizations, certain ministries or meetings continue year after year even though they’re failing, simply because the leader feels they must keep them going. On page 240, Scazzero writes: Some things just need to be allowed to die. I agreed completely when I read that. He doesn’t say it’s a happy thing—it’s sad and tough—but necessary. He connects this with theology: there has to be death before resurrection, before new life.

On pages 272–274, he writes: We mistakenly believe that our responsibility as a leader is to always keep things going, even if they aren’t working. If we accept the broader culture’s view of endings as a failure and something to be avoided, we will neglect one of the most essential tasks of leadership—helping others navigate endings and transitions well.

Here are some of my other favorite quotes from the book:

Page 116: Somehow it has become part of our default thinking that external markers of success are an indication that all must certainly be well at the leadership level.
Page 204: I rebelled against God right in the midst of my work for God.
Page 255: Perhaps the best test I know for alerting me that I have strayed from a healthy use of power is when I resent people treating me like the servant I claim to be.

All in all, the book was well written—a solid leadership book that gave great insight into my soul and my motives. I do recommend this book if you are in any capacity of leadership or if you want to do some soul-searching.

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