How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes Book Summary
Have you ever felt that when you talk to someone, the words don't come out of your mouth? Your heart says that if I say something, someone should listen. But when you open your mouth, it doesn't make any difference. Nothing changes. Have you ever tried to say your words easily and confidently?
But every time it seems that people are ignoring you. When you meet someone and he doesn't listen to you. Does this question arise in your mind at that time? Am I wrong? Is there nothing special in my words? Will I ever get the confidence that I need? We all feel this at some point or the other. Our voice gets suppressed and we think that maybe we will remain the way we are. But the truth is
You can change this situation because communication skills are an art that anyone can learn anytime, anywhere, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you can also have this skill. Have you ever felt that some people have this special ability. Whatever they say, everyone listens to it. What do they do? Do they have any magic power?
How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes. It will teach you that you can also join those people who easily convey their point to others. You can make your voice audible and most importantly, you can express yourself in the right way.
Today I will tell you those 15 powerful techniques which can be used not only in books but in life. Which will give you that confidence and hidden power which you already have. Your every word, your every conversation is going to change now and this change will happen today.
Chapter One: How to Make a Powerful First Impression
Have you ever thought about how your first meeting affects your entire relationship? We've all felt it. When we meet someone for the first time, those few seconds that pass between us determine whether the relationship will move forward or end right there.
Do you want people to think well of you after your first meeting? Do you want the other person to trust you and consider you a part of their life? Sometimes we don't realise that our first impression says so much about us.
Those few seconds, your body language, your smile and your confidence can have a profound impact on the other person. Leil Lowndes says in her book How to Talk to Anyone: The first impression is something that stays in the other person's mind forever.
The truth is that we often take our first impression lightly. We think that the first meeting will not have any effect at any time. But it is not so. This impression leaves a lasting effect. Now the question is, how can we improve it?
Tip One: Talk while looking into the eyes of the other person.
When you talk while looking into the eyes of the other person, it is not just a sign of confidence but also of respect. It shows that you are listening to them completely and paying attention to them.
Tip Two: Win hearts with a smile.
Your smile makes the other person feel that you are talking honestly and openly. It creates a belief in them that you are a good person and they want to be associated with you.
Tip Three: Positive body language.
Your body language says a lot. If you keep your body open, it shows the other person that you are relaxed and not nervous. It is not that you have to joke every time. But your behaviour creates your image.
Now what to do? Talk with confidence. Confidence is a strength that impresses the other person. Have faith in yourself and make the other person feel that you can face any challenge.
Stay relaxed and comfortable. Nervousness can weaken your confidence. Keep yourself comfortable to make every conversation comfortable.
Spread positive energy. Show the other person that you are open and honest with them with a smile and positive body language.
Pay attention to body language. Your body language also speaks. It is important to be open and confident. Give the most importance to the first impression.
Not only your words but also your manner, your confidence and your smile affect the other person. When you meet someone for the first time, those few seconds leave a lasting impression in their mind.
Remember, your confidence, your smile and your body language are the things that connect the other person with you forever.
Chapter Two: Body Language That Speaks Before You Do.
Have you ever wondered whether you should say anything or not? What message does your body language send to the other person first? Your body language, your physical movements, your gestures, your smile, all these things can already help the other person understand who you are How are you feeling and what mood you are in.
Have you ever felt that when you meet someone, he makes you feel good or bad without saying a single word? Yes, this is the power of body language. In her book How to Talk to Anyone?, Leil Lowndes says, your body language is like an open book that tells everything about you without saying a single word.
Tip One: Eye connection.
Making eye contact is a powerful tool. When you talk to the other person by looking into their eyes, it makes them feel that you are listening to them with all your heart, and you have their full attention. This is the body language that gives them an emotional connection with you.
Tip Two: Open Posture When you sit or stand,Try to keep your body open.
Do not clasp your hands together as this can be a sign that you are nervous. An open and relaxed posture shows that you are confident and ready to engage with the other person.
Tip Three Smile. A smile creates a strange charm.
It makes the other person feel that you are friendly and ready to make contact with them. Smile not only makes you look confident but it also brings a positive energy to your face.
Riya is a young professional. Some time ago she was going for a big interview. Riya knew that her resume was very good. But she was worried whether she would be able to present her body language correctly.
As soon as she entered the interview room, she tried to calm herself down. She made sure that she maintained eye contact with the interviewer. She had a light smile on her face and she opened her hands confidently.
Riya's confidence and her body language helped her a lot during the interview. She realized that she did not just have to focus on what she said, but her body language was just as important.
As a result, Riya was called for the interview and got the job. Because the interviewer found her body language to be very confident.
What to do now? Maintain eye contact. Maintaining eye contact with the other person indicates that you are trying to connect with them with a true heart.
Show confidence. Show through your body language that you are comfortable and have faith in yourself.
Positive smile A positive smile conveys your confidence and openness to the other person.
Open posture: Open your posture to show yourself comfortable and confident. Do not keep your hands folded. Without body language, you depend only on words. But when your body language matches your words, it sends a powerful message.
After all, your body language is the aspect that first makes the other person feel that you are full of confidence, friendly and ready to connect with them.
Remember, words are forgotten once heard. But your body language stays in the memory for a long time.
Chapter Three: The Secret of Magnetic Eye Contact.
Have you ever felt as if by looking into someone's eyes, that person has reached your heart without saying anything? Eyes are not just a means of seeing. It is the deepest door of your emotions. From where you can connect with someone's heart. Without saying a single word.
Talking by looking into someone's eyes is an art, if you learn it, then you can make a strong connection in every interaction.
Be it friendship, conversation or a first meeting. Leil Lowndes says that the eyes are not just windows to the soul. There are the keys to influence, connection and confidence.
Now understand what is the real meaning of magnetic eye contact? These are those eyes that do not run away, do not get scared, do not clash but stay, connect and make the other person feel this.
I am here with you completely. But this does not mean that you keep staring continuously. The magic of eye contact works only when you use it with the right balance. For connection, not for control. Now what to do?
One Sticky Eyes Technique. When someone is talking, keep your eyes on their eyes. As if your eyes are stuck there. This makes the other person take you seriously and he feels that you are feeling what he is saying.
Two Look Away Slow Rule. Whenever you look away, do it slowly because suddenly looking away shows nervousness and looking away slowly makes a person a confident person.
Three-Pause and Lock Method. While talking, pause sometimes. And in that pause, make a deep connection with the eyes. These pauses make your words even more impactful. When you connect with the eyes, you are not just listening.
You are feeling and the other person is not just speaking. He is creating an invisible bond with you. This is the magic of real eye contact which starts from the eyes but reaches directly to the heart. Remember, powerful people connect first with eyes, not words.
Chapter Four: What to Say After Hello
Have you ever been caught in such awkward moments? Where the other person is smiling. You have also said a light hello. But after that, everything freezes. It goes on in the mind. What should I say now? Am I looking boring? If the conversation does not work out, how will I manage the awkward silence?
This fear, this hesitation, prevents many of us from starting an interesting conversation. Leil Lowndes talks very clearly about this. Conversation does not start with hello.
It starts with what comes after it. This means that no matter how confidently you say hello, if you are not able to say something interesting after that, the other person will lose interest in a few seconds.
Now imagine, you meet someone and say hi, how are you? This is a routine question, whose answer will also be routine. Just fine and the matter ends there.
But if you say hi what was the best moment for you today? Or hi, if you get a chance to travel anywhere right now, where would you go? Then the door to conversation opens immediately.
Tanya was an introverted girl. She was afraid of talking to people in public settings. But one day in a seminar she took a small challenge to herself. Today, I will not just say hi but will ask a question that will make the conversation last longer. She said to a girl.
Hello, if you get a superpower, what would you choose? The girl was surprised, then smiled and said mind reading. Both laughed. And from there an interesting conversation started.
Which lasted not for 5 minutes but for 50 minutes. So what is the lesson now? Rise above small talk. How are you? What are you doing? Instead of such questions, ask creative questions. Such questions that force the other person to think a little and make them feel. Wow, this person is a little different.
Second, observe. Do not make a script. Ask questions related to the other person's body language, energy, and attire. Like your jacket is very cool. is there any story behind it?
Third, do not avoid yourself. Many times we think whether to speak now or not? But the connection is made in those seconds when you take the risk of expressing yourself. And remember a good question, a line coming from the heart and a genuine interest.
Can make any conversation from ordinary to extraordinary. Everyone says hello but only those who speak after that are remembered.
Chapter Five: How to be Instantly Liked in 30 Seconds.
Do you know people don't like you when you talk a lot about yourself? People start liking you when you give them a chance to talk about themselves.
Everyone wants someone to listen to them genuinely without interrupting or judging them. Leil Lowndes says be a good listener and people will think you are a great conversationalist.
This means that if the other person talks 70% and you listen to 30%, even then people will tell you that it was nice talking to you. This is the illusion of connection where you did not say anything special.
But you gave the other person the rarest gift today, attention. Now think how does it feel when you talk to someone and he talks about himself again and again?
You get bored after a while. Isn't it? But when someone listens to you carefully, shows interest in what you say, then you feel like talking to this person again, so what should you do now?
One, don't try to impress. Try to evolve. To impress people, it is better to ask their stories rather than telling your own stories. Remember this line. People like to talk about themselves the most.
Second, ask follow-up questions. Don't just stop after asking what do you do? Hold on to his answer and ask further. Okay, what is the most challenging thing in that work? Only then will a real connection be formed.
Third, be an active listener. Don't listen passively. Nod your head while listening. Make eye contact. Say small words like really, what else happened next? All these make the other person feel that he matters.
And the most important thing is that when you make the other person feel that his words are important, then he starts liking you instantly. Because everyone in the world wants to be interesting.
But very few people choose to be interested. And the one who learns this skill is liked everywhere quietly without showing off.
Chapter Six: The Ice Breaker Formula for Any Situation.
Does it happen to you too that you meet a new person and you don't know where to start the conversation? There is such an awkward silence in which the heart beats loudly and the mind thinks what to say now? Starting the conversation is the most difficult step. Because we feel that the other person will judge us or we will look boring.
But the truth is that every person is waiting for the conversation to begin. We just need someone to take the initiative. Once upon a time, Ritika had gone to a small wedding function. There were all strangers there. She was standing alone in a corner. Neither did she know anyone nor was anyone talking to her. Then she saw a girl who looked like her.
A little lonely. Ritika slowly went near her and said. Hi, I liked your earrings very much. That's all I wanted to say. The girl said thank you. The conversation started and then both of them enjoyed the whole evening together. Ritika realized that day that small talk is not a big thing. Even a simple observation can create a connection.
So what to do now? Observe. Notice the other person's clothes, smile, phone cover or anything small. Give a compliment but keep it true and light. Like your scarf is very unique.
Three, ask simple questions. Who are you here with? Or how do you like this place? Fourth, match the mood. Avoid talking too loud or too flat. Fifth, smile and make eye contact.
These two things have a greater impact than your words. When you start a conversation, you break a wall that often exists between people. Icebreakers are not a script. It is just a gentle touch that says I want a connection. And when you do this safely, people not only remember you but also respect you.
This is the icebreaker formula that works everywhere and never lets you down. This video is just an overview of this book. We highly recommend that you read this book in full so that you can completely rebuild yourself. Link is given in the description.
Buy the e-book now and change your life. From the
Chapter Seven: How to Sound Confident
Even When You're Nervous? Have you ever felt that you are going for an important conversation? You have all the ideas. You are fully prepared. But as soon as it is your turn to speak, everything starts getting confused.
The voice starts trembling. The words start getting stuck in the throat. And it seems that the person in front must be thinking. He does not know anything. But this is not the truth. Actually, the fear inside is what will people think? Am I not speaking wrong if I stutter and this fear gets mixed in your voice.
Now understand one thing, confidence is not seen only in body language. It is heard first in your voice and people will not believe your words until your voice convinces them.
That is why your voice becomes your first impression. Whether it is a job interview, speaking on stage or talking to a stranger. So what to do? Learn to control your breath. Whenever you feel nervous, take a deep breath. Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds and exhale for 5 seconds. This will give a signal to your nervous system.
Relax, your safe. Two. Reduce your speaking speed. Speaking too fast is the biggest sign of nervousness. Speak slowly. Speak every word with a pause. Your words will sound more impactful. Three. Take a pause in between. Wait for one to two seconds after every sentence.
This pause is not only for your clarity. But it also gives the other person a chance to think. Fourth, keep your voice a little deep. Speaking in a little depth shows maturity and people automatically take your words seriously.
Fifth, avoid filler words like umm zareniya means zareniya, these show weak confidence. Speak clearly and simply. Now let's talk about mindset. Confidence does not mean that you know everything or you are never afraid.
Confidence means I trust myself no matter what and when you speak with this mindset, your voice starts bringing out the strength within you. Remember, confidence comes from practice. But sound is an art.
When you work on your voice, you don't just learn to speak. You also win people's attention, respect and trust and this is what makes you a person whose words people can't forget.
Chapter Eight: How to Handle Awkward Silences Smoothly
Have you ever felt those moments when you are talking to someone and suddenly the whole conversation stops for a few seconds.
Your breath also stops and this silence seems to engulf the whole room. In such a situation, you think. Am I saying something wrong? What would the other person be thinking? Should I say something? And then your anxiety starts increasing in that silence.
Because we all want the conversation to always flow. But have you ever thought that this silence can actually become your next biggest strength? Understand why this awkward silence is not as bad as it seems. This silence is just an opportunity to bring your inner thoughts in a good direction.
There is a challenge of understanding between you and the other person as to how you can turn this silence into a thoughtful moment. What to do now? Welcome a silence.
Whenever there is an awkward silence, relax yourself. This does not mean that you are doing something wrong. Rather it means that you are getting time to think.
Pause and think about what you want to say and organize your thoughts in a better way. Maintain eye contact. When there is silence, continue the conversation with your eyes. This shows the other person that you are interested and paying attention.
This makes them feel that you are involved in the conversation and are listening comfortably. Three, take advantage of silence. Sometimes this silence can also become a way to deepening conversation.
You can give a thoughtful question or deep conversation starter to turn this moment into a learning opportunity. Example: What was the most memorable life moment for you? This will attract the attention of the other person along with you.
Fourth, show confidence. When there is silence, handle yourself with confidence. No awkwardness can stop you. If you show that you are comfortable, the other person will also become comfortable quickly.
This power pose will make you and your words stronger. This story is about a friend of mine named Arun. Arun always used to get nervous while speaking.
Whenever he used to talk to someone, he used to try to speak quickly to avoid awkward silence. He was afraid that if he became silent, the other person would think him strange and the conversation would end.
But one day he attended a meeting that was going to change his thinking. This meeting was with an old friend of Arun whose name was Akash. Akash was always a calm and confident man who spoke easily.
When both of them met in a coffee shop, the conversation was a bit slow for the first few minutes. Arun saw that Akash was not in any hurry. He calmly sipped his coffee and then just smiled looking into his eyes.
At this time Arun felt that he would get lost in the entire conversation. But Akash gave a new turn to the conversation without showing any nervousness.
Akash accepted the moment comfortably and then spoke. Have you ever wondered why we are so busy that we never get time to think about ourselves. It was a simple question.
But his calm conversation forced Arun to think. He started feeling that Akash broke that quiet moment and gave a new direction to the conversation with a thoughtful question.
Arun now understood that instead of getting nervous from any awkward silence, it can be turned into an important and thoughtful moment. Arun slowly understood that this awkward silence was just a measure.
It was an opportunity to understand himself and the other person. Slowly he started making himself comfortable with that silence and now he could handle any moment comfortably without getting nervous.
After all, remember silence is never dangerous. It is just a chance. To communicate your message better, understand your reaction and listen to the other person carefully.
A real master communicator is one who uses silence correctly and brings harmony and depth to the conversation. So the next time you face an awkward silence, instead of being afraid of it, try to turn it into your next best conversation moment.
Chapter Nine How to Make People Feel and Like You Instantly.
Have you ever felt that someone has really listened to you? Understood what you said and appreciated your efforts. This is a feeling that makes us very happy. We all want someone to understand us properly, feel our presence and recognize our importance.
But have you ever thought that when you make someone feel like this, you can make a special place in their heart. This is such a powerful way that you can attract someone towards you with just a few words.
With just a genuine compliment or a little emotional validation, you can make a place in someone's heart. Now let's understand how you can make others really important. Give a genuine appreciation.
A genuine appreciation is one that comes from the heart. When you praise someone's hard work or work, you should tell how important it is. Instead of just saying that you did a good job, say that the way you did this work is really impressive. You have worked very hard on it.
This will make the other person feel that you appreciate their efforts and you are giving them importance deliberately.
So give emotional validation. Sometimes all we need is a chance to express our emotions openly in front of someone and when someone understands our feelings, we feel a deep connection.
Like when someone says in your difficult times, I understand how tough it must have been for you. It makes you feel that someone understands your pain or struggle, and this validation makes the person show their understanding and empathy towards you.
Three Talk beyond the norm. We all know how people often talk about the usual. How was your day? But if you really like someone, take your conversation to a more personal and genuine level.
Tell them what you find special in their life. For example, I always like it when you meet someone with such warmth. It makes others feel good. This small gesture makes the other person feel that you are paying attention to them and that you are really thinking about them.
What do you do when you want to make someone feel good? One Give sincere compliments. Compliment things that are really special rather than giving dry and generic compliments.
This will make the other person feel that you really appreciate them. Two Show active listening. Listening is the greatest appreciation. When you listen to someone completely and try to understand their feelings, you make the other person feel important. Never just wait for your turn.
Pay genuine attention and validate them. Third, offer emotional support. Everyone wants empathy during their tough times. When you understand someone's emotional struggles and listen to them without judging them, you create a safe space for them.
This is the moment when people like you even more because they realize that you are there for them. Let me tell you a story. I have a friend named Sameer. Sameer is a quiet and introverted person. One day, a friend of his told him that she was going through some difficulties.
She was very stressed and felt that no one valued her. Sameer listened to her carefully without delay and later said, "I understand how difficult this is for you. You always help others, but sometimes think about yourself.
I know this must be difficult for you, but you will get through it. The girl was deeply touched by Sameer's words because he not only emotionally validated her but also made her feel that her hard work and struggle were appreciated.
A few days later she told Sameer, "What you felt for me made me feel very important. I felt that someone understands me." It was a simple gesture. But it opened a deep space of friendship and understanding for Sameer.
Finally, remember that when you make someone feel important, you can change their world. You can make a place in someone's heart with genuine compliments and emotional validation.
Never underestimate someone's importance because a simple acknowledgement can make a huge difference in someone's life.
Chapter 10 How to Talk to Popular and Powerful People?
Have you ever felt that when you meet a big name or a powerful person, you start feeling a strange fear. You wonder if I am saying the right things. Will they take my words seriously?
Am I able to make a good impression? All these questions come to our mind because we start thinking that we are very small and they are very big. But this is not really so.
Big name people are also the same people who struggle in their daily life. Have expectations and expect help from others at some point or the other. And this is the way that will help you to attract them towards you.
After all, you are talking to people who probably feel alien and anxious many times in their life just like you. Now let's understand how you can talk to popular or powerful people in the right way.
Be confident but don't be overbearing. When you meet a big name person, the most important thing is that you have confidence in yourself. This is the right time to highlight your own abilities and qualities.
But you should meet them without showing arrogance, considering yourself an equal person. Not underestimating yourself. Your confidence is what attracts the other person.
But keep in mind that it does not turn into arrogance. Be genuine, not flattering. When you talk to a powerful person, the most important thing is to be completely honest and true.
Anyone can tell when you are just flattering them. Instead, express what you think while talking to them. Give genuine praise but make it something that is your own opinion and not just to praise them.
I am very inspired by your initiative or your contribution in this field is very commendable. Such words are more effective.
Three Don't be afraid to ask questions. Big names often like it when people ask them questions. But these questions should be deep and thoughtful and not just for the sake of having a conversation.
You will get a chance to learn from their opinions and experiences and it will leave a good impression on you. For example, you can ask them this. What was the biggest challenge you faced on the way to your success?
This question will not challenge their thinking but will show your thoughtfulness. Four Be calm and collected. When you meet a big person, your mind starts working fast.
You start thinking, will he see me in the right way? Am I wrong in my words? But it is important that you stay calm and collected. Take a deep breath and concentrate completely.
Choose your words carefully because this will show you as a professional and composed person. Sometimes true connections happen in simple ways. I remember a story about a friend of mine, Sameer. Sameer was a beginner influencer and one day he got a chance to meet a big businessman who was one of the big names in his industry.
Sameer was a little nervous as he was thinking about what he should say and what not. But he told himself I have to take advantage of this opportunity because I have confidence in myself.
When Sameer met the businessman he spoke confidently and asked him some thoughtful questions about his work. The businessman liked Sameer's approach and felt that the person was genuine and honest.
Sameer impressed him with his confidence and the businessman added him to his network. Sameer never thought that he could grow so much from that meeting.
But his calm and deep questions changed his situation. Now what to do? One Show confidence. Don't be afraid of others. Especially if they are popular. Speak confidently but not arrogantly.
Two Be truthful. Instead of praising them, talk to them honestly and express your views. Three Ask questions. This will give you a chance to learn from their experience and show a genuine interest.
Four Stay calm. Instead of getting nervous when meeting big names, stay calm and relax. When you meet a big person with a good impression, you have to win their heart with your ability and confidence and it is not just confidence but the power of true connection that connects you to them.
Chapter 11 How to Become a Great Storyteller
Have you ever wondered how your eyes open when you listen to someone's story? A good story is one that is not just in words but it also resides in your heart and mind. A good storyteller is one who not only tells the story but also lives it.
The impact of your story is much more than your words. Even your body language and the modulation of your voice have a deep impact on the listener's heart. Have you ever listened carefully to a great storyteller?
While listening to their story, you do not listen to anything else. All you want is that story. You want that experience. Even just the way you tell your story can change.
Your confidence can make it even more interesting. Now let's understand how you can become a great storyteller. A great story is one that makes the listener feel.
This could have happened to me too. When you put common experiences, common struggles or heart-touching things in your story, the listener finds himself in it.
It is not necessary that the story has a bound issue or difficulty. Sometimes the simplest events have the most impact. Relatable means that the story should be such that everyone can connect with their life. Two Build a strong narrative structure.
To tell a good story, it needs a direction and flow. To make the story effective, it is important to grab the attention of the listener in the beginning and give them a strong message at the end.
A good storyteller knows where to add suspense, when to bring a moment of laughter and when to leave space for deep thinking. It is this structure that gives rhythm and pace to the story.
Three Use emotions to connect. A story is not just about events, it is about living the feelings of that time. When you add emotions to your story, the listener experiences it. Psychologically, when a person finds himself in a story, he remembers it for a long time.
That is why using emotions makes you a good storyteller. Remember when someone told you his story, how it was not just words but an experience. Have you ever noticed the use of descriptive language? When you listen to a good story, it creates a clear picture in your mind. Descriptive language does not mean just saying he went.
It means he was walking in light rain and the sound of thunder was echoing with his footsteps. This type of descriptive language immerses the listener not just in the story but in its reality. A good story is one that brings to life the scenes, feelings and sounds in the listener's mind.
Five Keep it simple. Have you ever wondered why? Why some stories touch the heart despite being long and some change our thinking completely despite being very short.
The truth is that a good story is one that is clear and simple. Say what you want to say in clear words. Avoid complexity because complexity only creates confusion. Straightforwardness without any twists and turns affects the listener the most.
Six and with a punch The end of any good story strengthens its impact. What will happen now or what did we learn from this? This is the question that should come to the listener's mind in the end.
A good story is one that forces the listener to think from beginning to end so that he remembers it for a long time. The end of your story should be effective so that the listener can turn that moment again and again in his mind.
Remember the most effective end is the one that forces your listener to think forever. Now what to do?
One Make the stories simple and connected. Add elements to the story that make the listener feel that this is my experience. Two Take care of the structure. Keep the story clear in the beginning, middle and end.
Three, use emotions. Infuse emotions in the story so that the listener can be a part of that emotional journey. Four, use descriptive language. Make the story come alive with the use of descriptive words.
Five, keep the story simple. Make the story simple and clear without any complexity so that it reaches the listener directly. Sixth, the end of the story should be effective. At the end, make the listener think what this story means to them now?
What is there in listening? Storytelling to attract someone and leave a deep impression is an art. This art comes to you with practice and understanding. Choose your words and make your listeners feel every moment with you. A great storyteller is one who not only tells the story but also lives it.
Chapter 12 How to Read People's Emotions Instantly?
Have you ever felt that while talking to someone, their face says one thing and their words say something else. Those gestures, those small gestures, can you recognize all these?
Our face, our body language and our voice, all these things express our emotions. And if you start understanding these signals, then you can easily know what the person in front of you is feeling. Now let us understand through a story.
I remember. A few years ago, a friend of mine told me that she was very nervous about her boss. But when I met her, her body language and face were telling something else.
Her face was smiling but there was fear in her eyes. Her hands were slightly bent and she was constantly twisting her fingers. These were the signs that she was nervous.
Whereas with words she seemed absolutely fine. This is what happens. We sometimes try to hide our real emotions. But our body and facial expressions tell the truth.
Now the question is how to recognize these signals? Pay attention to a facial expression. The shine in the eyes, the smile on the face or the wrinkled lines on the forehead. All these are signs of what the person in front of you is feeling.
His face and his eyes say a lot more than just words. Do understand body language. Usually when we are nervous, our body also shows it. Hand movements, posture of standing or sitting, all this tells a lot.
If a person is leaning more towards himself, it means that he is taking interest in what you are saying. If a person is sitting with folded hands, then it can be a sign of anxiety or insecurity.
Three micro expressions. These are those small expressions which last only for a few milliseconds. But they tell a lot.
Like a sudden glimpse of fear on the face or a small gesture of happiness. Fourth, the tone of the voice can also tell a lot. When someone is nervous, there is confusion and nervousness in his voice.
When someone is happy, there is lightness and confidence in his voice. Fifth, understand the context. Do not guess someone's emotions just by a gesture or expression.
Understand his body language and facial expressions by connecting them to the whole situation. If someone is under work pressure, then his body language may change a bit. But when he is relaxing, he will look different.
What to do? Now first pay attention to the facial expressions. Whether it is a smile, eye gestures or facial lines, try to understand all of these. All these can be signals for you about how the person in front is feeling.
So understand the body language. The body of the person in front of you will tell how he is feeling. If he is leaning forward, it means that he is taking interest.
If he is sitting with folded hands, then it can be a sign of insecurity. Three Recognize micro expressions. These small gestures reveal the real feelings of the person in front of you. If you see a glimpse of happiness on someone's face for a few seconds, then understand that he is happy.
Sure, pay attention to the tone of the voice. Sometimes listen carefully. When someone is nervous, there may be a slight tremor in his voice. When one is happy, the voice becomes light and in serious conversation, the voice becomes deep.
Five Pay attention to the context. Do not understand any gesture without a context. It is not possible to fully understand a person's emotions only by body language. Only by understanding the entire context, you can know correctly how the other person is feeling.
The gist of the story Reading the emotions of the people around you is an art. If you understand it well, then you can make your conversation and relationships even stronger.
Remember, there is more power in reading their real emotions from their body language and facial expressions than words. When you start recognizing these signals, you become better at understanding yourself and others.
Chapter 13 How to Deal with Criticism, Judgement and Rejection?
Have you ever felt judged or rejected by someone? We all have these experiences at some point in our lives. Criticism, judgement or rejection can all upset us. But what if you could handle them all in a smart way?
Without losing your confidence. Now let's understand how this can be done. We all feel like reacting when we are criticized or rejected. But the best way is to first calm ourselves down and think about how we should react.
So what to do? Pause before reacting. When we receive criticism or negative comments, first give yourself a few seconds to calm down. Take a deep breath and then think about how you will react in the most sensible way. This will save you from making any mistakes in a hurry.
Separate your self-worth from their words. Remember that their criticism or negativity does not reflect your true identity. Your self-worth does not depend on their words. You are who you are and no one's criticism can reduce your worth.
Understand the three signs. Not every word of criticism is something we should take personally. Sometimes people use harsh words to express their feelings. Try to understand if there is something learnable in that criticism and how you can use it for your betterment. Four, give a balanced response.
Do not react immediately to criticism or rejection. It is never right to react emotionally. Try to react with patience. This will not only increase your confidence but you will also demonstrate your intelligence and understanding.
Five Understand their words but move on your path. Sometimes criticism and rejection ask you to stop. But this does not mean that you change your direction. If you know that you have done the right thing then move forward on your path.
What to do? Now take a breath and sleep. Calm yourself down and sleep before reacting immediately at the time of criticism or rejection. Two Do not lose your self-worth.
Do not let anyone's criticism affect your identity. You are who you are. Three See an opportunity to learn. See criticism as an opportunity to improve and grow. Can you learn something from this?
Fourth React with patience. React intelligently instead of emotionally. Fifth Be firm in your direction. Do not get discouraged by criticism and rejection. If you know that you are right then move forward.
The gist of the story, criticism, judgement and rejection are all part of life. But it depends on us how we deal with them. If we remain balanced, calm and sensible in these situations, then we can learn from them and move forward. Every criticism, every rejection gives us a chance to become stronger. If we understand and respond to it in the right way.
Chapter 14 How to be remembered even after one conversation.
Have you ever felt that some people stay in your memories forever just after meeting them once? Their words, their manner, their confidence is something that never lets us forget them.
It is not just their words but what they feel and make us feel, that makes them special in our memories. Now let's understand through a story.
I remember once I met an old friend Arjun. We both met after a few years. In the beginning, the exchange of words was normal.
But as our conversation grew, Arjun made me feel something that I have not been able to forget till date. He was telling me small things of his life with a lot of enthusiasm and passion. As if he had a passion to learn something new every day.
His words were heart touching and the most special thing was that he left no stone unturned in taking my name every time. As soon as he took my name, I felt that he understood me completely.
As if our conversation was completely mine. He was making me feel that he was listening to me completely. And also that I was interested in listening to him. This pure and honest feeling of his made that meeting memorable for me forever.
Now the question is what should be done so that anyone remembers us after meeting us once. Maintain an emotional connection. When you are talking to someone, try to connect with their emotions.
To make an emotional connection, make them feel that you are taking interest in what they say. The magic of two names. Every person's name is his identity.
If you talk to someone by their name, then they feel that you are giving them importance. Arjun repeatedly took my name and this small thing deepened our relationship. Three Call back technique. Call back means bringing back things said earlier in the conversation.
When you recall and refer to what someone has said, they understand that you have heard and understood them completely. This is one way you can make the conversation special.
Four Be authentic and true. Never hide your reality. When you are truthful, people remember your conversation. Arjun told me small things of his real life without any hesitation and this is what made it memorable.
Five Put your words in an attractive way. Make the things you say interesting and attractive. To add magic to your words, say them from the heart and choose your words correctly. What to do now?
One Understand the emotions of the person in front of you. Listen carefully and try to connect with them. The more emotional connection you make with them, the more your memories will be associated with them.
Two Use the magic of name. While talking to someone, take their name repeatedly. This will make them feel that you are giving them respect. Use the three-collar back. Recall the things that you have said earlier.
This makes them feel that you are listening to them seriously. Four: Be authentic and truthful. People remember your truth. So never try to hide your reality.
Five, keep your conversation interesting. Choose the right words and add magic to your words. Summary Sometimes we don't realize how deep an impression a brief encounter can leave on someone's heart.
When you truly connect with someone, take their name and understand what they have to say deeply, that encounter becomes a forever memory.
When you are genuine like Arjuna and make a complete emotional connection, you are forever etched in someone's memory. Chapter 15, How to Be the Kind of Person Everyone Wants to Talk To?
Have you ever felt that some people grab everyone's attention the moment they enter a room? They have a special charm that draws people to them. Is it just their good looks or catchy words?
No. It all depends on their personality and the way they talk. When you meet someone, the first impression matters a lot. It depends not only on the topic of your conversation but also on your facial expressions, your body language and your choice of words during that conversation.
People naturally like to be with people who are spontaneous, positive and interesting. And when you develop this natural charm within yourself, you automatically become everyone's favorite.
First of all, you have to learn the art of listening. When you talk to someone, do not just wait for your turn. Pay full attention to what they are saying to show interest in them. Listen by looking into their eyes and try to understand their words.
This is the way people feel that you are genuinely trying to connect with them. When you become a listener, the other person feels that you value him and this is the beginning of a deep connection. After this, your positivity and energy are very important.
When you are light-hearted and adopt a positive attitude in every conversation, people are naturally drawn towards you. This is not only due to the smile on your face but also due to the energy within you.
When you are happy, others feel happy and want to spend more time with you. Empathy is also a very important quality. When you try to understand someone's feelings and share that feeling with them, you are able to build a special connection.
It makes a lot of difference when you stand with someone in their sadness or happiness. Because it makes the other person feel that you really care for them.
After all, you are most attractive when you present yourself naturally. When you talk to someone, the other person recognizes the real you. He knows that you are who you are.
By avoiding artificiality, you present a natural and trustworthy personality that always attracts people. Your body language also says a lot. When you are confident, your body and facial expressions show it.
A light smile, open attitude and confident body language make you a person people feel comfortable talking to. Never forget that when you express gratitude to someone, it shows that you value their time and thoughts.
When you thank someone or express gratitude for their help, people always remember it and are attracted to you. Overall, if you incorporate these small but effective changes in your life, you will become a person whom people will always like.
A personality full of confidence, positivity, empathy and truth is the key to become everyone's favorite.
Today we understood some of the best and effective ideas from this book that can completely change your life. The advice given in this book will help you to reshape not only your thinking but your entire perspective. By adopting these ideas in your life, you can not only change your habits but also give a new direction to your life.
Remember, to make life better, first of all we need to understand and change ourselves. There is a deep thought hidden in every word of this book which will help you to reshape yourself and your life.
If you have not read the book yet, then definitely take the time to read it completely so that you can understand it completely and take full advantage of it.
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